Happiness After Divorce in Southeast Asia - Neeta Bhushan

Happiness After Divorce in Southeast Asia

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Absolutely loved my random conversations with single women in Singapore. Two older divorced women, one was of Chinese decent, and one of Indian decent both 2nd generation Singaporeans. Highly independent, at one time they were both married. We had an incredible meal in the heart of food stalkers in Chinatown, where it was my first time indulging in Frog leg porridge, black pepper crab, and fried cray teaw (Singapore’s version of pad thai).  They both resembled the ages of my mom- and that generation where marriages were typically arranged for land, family customs, and familiar relationships.

It was interesting to dive deep exploring the cultural taboos around divorce. Yes, divorce.

They were so happy to rejoice my decision as a young Asian filipino-indian female not succumbing to a life of fear, saving-face, and unhappiness for the sake our culture and society pressures. They both made their decisions to leave much later, one also had experienced violence in the marriage, while the other mentioned after 20 years they simply grew apart do to a shift in interests and priorities (she wanted world travel, he had been sedentary).

It was evident, these women were highly active, and enjoyed the zest and fullness of life (i think think the timing couldn’t be anymore serendipitous). They both were world travelers, loved the outdoors-reminded me of my own independent and domineering aunts I had grown up with.

For my lovely Asian-ladies currently in unhappy marriages/relationships some questions for you- is there a possibility for reconciliation?

Clear communication is ultimately important in enhancing a positive partnership. Each relationship goes through its phases, but are the needs in the relationship being met? Are you both on the same page? Is there an interest to deepen your relationship and be even better versions of yourselves as partners? If there’s ‘no’ answer to any of these, or if there’s fear, angst, unhappiness, lack of communication in the marriage- these are red flags. Marriage is built on solid trust, equal partnership and profound understanding…

Today we live in an era where we don’t need to sacrifice our happiness for cultural taboos, we live for ourselves, and we SO deserve a life of freedom, and LOVE. Happiness is ultimately our choice, because we are WORTH IT.   So…my incredible and Worthy ladies… Go and get it.

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